Waxworks

By Jacob Gunness

Originally published in EUG #49
You begin in a foyer.

DROP PAPER, INSERT COIN (You win a torch!), EXAMINE SEAT (Ah! A key!), GET KEY, N, EXAMINE TOILET (You find a jacket), GET JACKET, EXAMINE JACKET, EXAMINE JACKET (Holds both gun and bullets), DROP JACKET, GET GUN, GET BULLETS, LOAD GUN, GO GRID, LIGHT TORCH, N, E, W, W, EXAMINE TRAP (It's loaded!).

GET CHEESE, W, S, UNLIGHT TORCH, DROP KEY, S, U, W, SAY 46, E, N, SAY 1953, S, D, W, W, S, S, GET AQUALUNG, W, WEAR AQUALUNG, GO AIRLOCK, SWIM, W, D, N, EXAMINE JUNK, EXAMINE JUNK (You uncover a crowbar and a lamp. Leave the crowbar for now), GET LAMP, RUB LAMP (Zzzinnng!! You wind up in Aladdin's cave).

D, DROP GUN, DROP CHEESE, U, U, D, GET BEAM, RUB LAMP, DROP BEAM, RUB LAMP (Back in the foyer), W, W, S, S, W, GO AIRLOCK, SWIM, W, D, RUB LAMP, GET BEAM, RUB LAMP, FIX TRAPDOOR (With the mast), N, GET CROWBAR, RUB LAMP, D, DROP AQUALUNG, GET CHEESE, U, GET KEY, D, WAIT (You appear again at a well).

LIGHT TORCH, DROP CHEESE, GET ROPE, TIE ROPE, GET CHEESE, GO ROPE, DROP CROWBAR, GO TUNNEL (You are knocked down by Torquemada and tied to an altar. Death is imminent!), GIVE CHEESE (Some rats bite your ropes to pieces!), EXAMINE ALTAR (Here is a talisman), GET TALISMAN, U, N, GO DOOR (The trapdoor was locked by the beam, remember?).

EXAMINE JEWELLRY, DROP MATCHES, GET CASKET, OPEN CASKET, DROP CASKET, DROP KEY, GET TANNA, GET MATCHES, RUB LAMP, D, DROP LAMP, MOVE FAWKES (He's armed!), GET BARREL, GET GUN, WAIT (By the well again), GO ROPE, E, FIRE GUN, FIRE GUN, FIRE GUN (The zombie will bite the dust...again, I guess)

GO DOOR, LIGHT MATCH, LIGHT FUSE, DROP BARREL, W (BOOM!! The passage by the door will be cleared), W, GET CROWBAR, E, GO DOOR, GO PASSAGE, OPEN SARCOPHAGUS (With the crowbar. A mummy comes out), WEAR TALISMAN, GIVE LEAVES (The creature gives you a mask), WEAR MASK.

Oh, brother. All of it was a dream?! Why does it all seem like an even bigger waste of time than normal?