By Adrian Jackson

Originally published in EUG #49

So, you can't get to sleep in this stunningly brilliant PD adventure, reviewed by (the) Dave in EUG #45. Never fear, just sit back, relax and let me take you through the method required to finally drop off.

OPEN your EYES, STAND UP and go DOWN into your bedroom. It took a while for me to work out how to get out of the first couple of rooms. Remember, nudity is not appreciated so you won't get anywhere unclad. EXAMINE the BED, and GET the CLOTHES you find underneath it. Then WEAR the CLOTHES and go NORTH into the bathroom. EXAMINEing the TOILET will give you a clue as to one of the sleepytime implements you might need. For the moment, GO through the WINDOW then walk NORTH along the ledge and SCREAM. When people look up, JUMP and you'll be caught and locked up.

To escape from the asylum, OPEN the DOOR. Walk NORTH through it then EXAMINE THE DESK and TALK to the rubber PLANT. Talking to plants proves your insanity and also gets you a cryptic hint in the form of "SEVER <colour>". Remember this colour and go NORTH and NORTH to the bin outside the back of your hotel. Listen to the men's conversation - it is he who laughs last who laughs longest, so SAY either SECOND or LAST. EXAMINE the TRASHCAN, GET the BUTTER and GET the RAG. Go S, W and N to the cafe where you should EXAMINE the TABLE to GET a TOOTHPICK. PICK your TEETH then DROP the TOOTHPICK and go NORTH to the steaming goo in the vat. DIP the RAG in it and go S, S and W to find the dog. When you reach him, THROW the BONE then go West into the DIY store and GET SCISSORS. Go EAST and SOUTH and GET BOX. Now go NORTH, EAST, EAST, EAST and SOUTH and READ the SIGN saying "Medical Supplies". EXAMINE the DOOR to this building then REMOVE the PANEL and EXAMINE the HOLE behind it to reveal an array of wires. SEVER the colour wire according to the rubber plant's instructions and then walk SOUTH through the door.

Inside the centre are various coloured bottles (discounting the blue one) which you will find if you EXAMINE the SHELVES. GET each bottle in turn and SHAKE it. When you hear one which rattles, BREAK it but don't examine or look at the broken glass. Press R to redescribe the location and GET the sleeping PILL which has appeared. Go N and N and TALK to the JANITOR.

He will ask if you know directions to the nearest lavatory so SAY YES and lead him NORTH and UP to your flat. He'll give you the key and you can then UNLOCK the DOOR and go West back inside. BUTTER the WINDOW and you can then OPEN WINDOW and GO WINDOW. Climb UP and EXAMINE the WASHING LINE then GET the PYJAMAS on it. Go DOWN and GO WINDOW then DROP the SCISSORS and DROP the PANEL. Go EAST, DOWN, SOUTH and West through the streets to the manhole. Go DOWN and you will be in a maze where each room has only two exits. You can find your way around by DROPping an object, trying each direction and GETting it again when you find the newest direction.

When you come to the rats, THROW the RAG and then go UP to the sewage works and GET the TEDDY. Go DOWN and back through the maze. Go UP into the street again and EAST, NORTH and UP back to your bedroom.

CLOSE the DOOR then REMOVE your CLOTHES and DROP THEM. WEAR your PYJAMAS, DROP the KEY and DROP the BOX before LIEing DOWN on the bed. CLOSE your EYES, EAT the sleeping PILL and then SLEEP to complete the adventure!