By Dave E

Originally published in EUG #46

You start in the lounge watching the television and a cursory SEARCH of the LOUNGE should yield a UB40. Go E and SEARCH the KITCHEN to find a key to the shed. GET this KEY too. Go W, U and E to your bedroom and OPEN your WARDROBE, GET the TRACKSUIT out of it and WEAR TRACKSUIT. Go W, D, E and E then UNLOCK SHED and ENTER SHED.

GET the BIKE and GET the CLIPS from the shed, and DROP the KEY. LEAVE the SHED and make sure you're WEARing the CLIPS. OPEN your GATE and you can then leave your house by going E.

Go S into the alley and DROP the BIKE. Go S into the Jobcentre and JOIN the QUEUE to GET your GiroCHEQUE. Now go N, GET your BIKE again and continue N, E and E before you DROP the BIKE again. Go N into the Post Office and CASH the CHEQUE. GET the NOTES and go out S, GET your BIKE (again!) and go W and then N, N from the High Street into the middle of the trading estate.

Move E, E, NE, E, E, NE and N. GET the BRACKET and then go SW and S to leave the estate. From here, go E, E, E to the wood west of Hampstead and then N to the bench where you need to SIT.

GET the CREDITCARD you'll now see, and go S, W, S and S. DROP the BIKE so you can go W into the Oxfam Shop where you will find tweeds. DROP your TRACKSUIT, GET the TWEEDS and WEAR the TWEEDS. Next go E, E and SEARCH the NEWSAGENTS to discover the "Art & Antiques" magazine. Type GET MAG to pick it up. Now you can go W and GET the BIKE again. Go S and DROP the BIKE as you cannot ENTER the train STATION while you're carrying it (but leaving it anywhere else leaves it open to be stolen)! BUY a TICKET and proceed SE to BOARD the TRAIN bound for Waterloo.

You will shortly meet a man and should GET the CARD he proffers then READ it. GIVE the BRACKET when he enquires about the exchange then GET the TIE he gives you in return and WEAR the TIE to take on his identity.

When the train pulls into the station, go N and BOARD the BUS. When it drops you off (eventually!), DROP the CARD, DROP the PASS and DROP the MAG. Then go N, E and E and OPEN the DESK in the furniture department to GET the SCREWDRIVER.

Now move W, W, N and E into the outfitters' of Regent Street, and BUY the SUIT. You pay for it with the creditcard automatically and can then DROP the CREDITCARD as it is of no further use. GET the SUIT and WEAR it before you go W, N, W, N to the club. In response to the question, enter JUSTIN PERRIER and then reply YES to the job offer.

GET the LETTER of reference and go S, E, E, E and E along Oxford Street to the merchant bank then go U. Go E into Sir Lionel's office and then W, W into your own.

EXAMINE the DESK and GET the MEMO. READ the MEMO then FORCE open the filing CABINET with the screwdriver. EXAMINE the broken CABINET to find a report. GET the REPORT then DROP the SCREWDRIVER.

READ the REPORT and make sure you keep it, and the memo, with you at all times as you'll need both later on. Wait around for the intercom message and then go E and N into the boardroom where you should enter OPTION 3.

Now GET the DRAFT and go S. TRANSLATE the MOTTO you see - as many times as you like; each will add 2% to your score. Now go D, W, W, W, S, S, S and E to the estate agent. EXAMINE the DISPLAY and BUY the COTTAGE. Go W, N, N, N, E and SE into Covent Garden and then S, S, S, E, SE. You will now be in the cocktail party Sir Lionel promised and can TAKE the model PIPPA in engagement. Now find your way out by going NW, W, N, N, W, N, NW, E, E and go D into the basement garage.

Enter TAKE CAR to get into it and then drive N, N, W and S to the mansion of Pippa's father. DROP the CAR and PULL the BELL. When questioned, say you wish to MEET CHUBBY and go S when granted entry. When you encounter Chubby, tell him you wish to MARRY his DAUGHTER and then GIVE him the MEMO and also GIVE him the REPORT.

With Sir Lionel completely betrayed, you can now go N and TAKE the CAR again. Move N and W to your district of origin and then go S, S and S and you will be at the familiar South end of the main road.

DROP the CAR here and go back W into the Oxfam Shop. DROP the TIE and DROP the SUIT. Then GET your TRACKSUIT and WEAR the TRACKSUIT before going E then S to find your old bike. GET your BIKE - and make sure you're still WEARing the CLIPS - before going N, N and N. Now keep going E until you enter Hampstead and are congratulated!